Minor Villans Make My Day

From Chapter 13 of Northern Warriors. In the ruined Ravun castle, the troll warlord Armalut confronts the goblin lord Pintath. One of my finer displays of comic interaction, I think...


In the evening, Lord Pintath was sitting in the throne room, slouched in half-slumber in the abandoned throne, trying to forget that he had ever heard that Armalut was coming. His guards Ninkal and Huluk were dozing in the corner behind him, and he was feeling quite content to be alone otherwise. He twisted a half-empty jug of cider idly in his spidery hands, just beginning to think of going to bed, when he heard footsteps in the hallway outside. He quietly wished to himself that they were not headed to see him in the throne room as so often they were, but as ever such hope was in vain. What was even more unfortunate for him was that it was not some panicked sentry come to report rebellion in the streets of Ramalsk—which happened infrequently nowdays though it still happened as often as not—nor was it Lord Televokov come to interrupt his usual mindless stupor with some business of state—which Pintath did not miss in the least since his rival's capture by the fairies—but it was another nemisis come to ruin his otherwise perfectly quiet evening.

Lord Armalut did not barge through the door himself. Two thuggish trolls larger than Armalut himself were walking in front of him, clearing the traffic for their angry sovereign and his entourage. Armalut's face was visible between the hulking shoulders of his comrades, his shorter stature framed by no less menacing muscles. His grimacing face was an eerie sight in the brightly lit chamber, the scars from his humiliating encounter with Prince Dmitri still vivid even weeks later. Lord Pintath had learned over the years it was best to try and ignore such a pending confrontation, but tonight admittedly he was curious.

“Well, well, Lord Armalut at last, the dread warrior of Kamchatka. Tell me, how is the elf-hunting going?”

His stony grimace not even flinching, Armalut grabbed a loaded crossbow from one of the trolls behind him and fired a shot at the throne. Pintath ducked, but the impact still knocked the heavy chair off-balance.

"Elves!" Armalut hissed. "Do not speak to me of elves! Ever since the battle at Toornath
they have been wearing my forces thin! They have all but driven us from the southeast quarter."
“Well, haha, I'm sorry to hear that,” said Pintath. He truly was sorry, but he made it a point not
to show pity to people who were working under him. Pintath heard his guards stirring behind
him at the commotion. Armalut came up to the throne dias and stared Pintath in the eye.

 Pintath sat upright in his seat, trying to look somewhat like he was still in charge. "So what do you want?" scowled Pintath, annoyed.

 “Where is our plunder?” Armalut asked.

Pintath balked. “Er, I was aware of that already. Let's discuss your other problems first.”

"If you insist, goblin. Why aren't your forces helping me?" Armalut growled at him.

 "What? Haven't you been paying attention to what's going on up here?"

"To what?"

"I mean while you've been playing ring-around-the-rosies with the rebels, I've been having a heck of a time keeping the peace here in Ramalsk. Is that some kind of a picnic to you? The people are still balking at our every move. They don't want us in charge any more than the elves do. That's what's been keeping us busy up here, if you think you're entitled to any support."

"Well, that's a poor excuse!" Armalut growled. "Your men are slouching about the streets and villages looting and drinking while we're running our hides off! Do you honestly call yourself a commander?"

 "Call myself a commander? You keep getting beaten by the elves; that's your problem, not mine! If the Opposition is responsible for half your casualties in the past three weeks, deal with it. I have my own problems. I thought we had it in the terms of our agreement that you would look after your own people, huh? Our government is in debt! We can't support you, so don't ask us too!"

 Armalut looked ready to explode, but he restrained himself. "Well, can't you put your forces to better use than to steal food from helpless villagers instead of keeping the rebels from annihilating us?" the troll lord demanded.

Pintath swallowed and tried to come up with an excuse. “We hardly have enough plunder for ourselves, much less to supply you. Really, I'd love to help you, but there's another problem with this, er, situation. I can't send out my forces to keep the public peace without permission. I'm still in a bind unless Lord Televokov grants me the authority, which, er, he can't right now." Pintath attempted a nervous laugh.

To his surprise, Armalut gave a low chuckle in reply. “Well, Lord Pintath, then I suppose it wouldn't be too hard to send a courier to the fairy fortress Tammil to request such a grant of authority, wouldn't it?” Pintath laughed along with Armalut nervously, trying to play along, but he stopped when he remembered that it was a dangerous game to laugh along with an enemy. “I thought the triumvirate was disbanded.”

 “Disbanded? Not remotely. Me and Televokov have everything under control. We just haven't found a third partner yet, so he, er, hasn't seen fit to promote me. The point is, my good lord, that the triumvirate is still in power as long as Televokov is alive. His word is law. I can no more act without his supervision than you can, so I am afraid I cannot do anything for you.”

Pintath smiled in an attempt to appear as helpless as he was making himself out to be, but he figured that Armalut already disbelieved his feigned innocence, which he presumed correctly. “But why do you need Televokov's authority when, if I am correct, you have now seized total power? Why do you now sit upon the throne that your master so thoroughly despises?”

 Pintath stood up on the seat of the throne, affronted. “My master? That impudent fairy? I do whatever pleases me and my troops, not that snub-nosed, silver-haired--”

“Well, do it!” snarled Armalut, drawing his sword and brandishing it at the goblin's stomach. Pintath's guards put their spears at Armalut's chest, suddenly on the defensive.

Pintath decided it was best not to argue outright. “All right, then. Have it your way. I'll...see to it that Televokov is informed of your request for assistance—as well as your request for payment. Meanwhile, you make sure that the Opposition doesn't budge an inch until we go stomp 'em out. Does that sound like a plan?” Armalut growled, but he withdrew his sword and sheathed it. Pintath's guards withdrew their spears. “Good. Now get back out there while I compose a message to his lordship.”

 “No. We stay here.” Armalut and his trolls turned away and began to walk out of the throne room.

“What?”

 “We will stay here and rest before we go out and fight the rebels again. My spies say they will be resting for a time, too. Some of the elves are going to join the Opposition. What have your spies been up to, goblin?”

“What? But--”

Armalut did not bother to explain his statements further before his trolls closed the throne room doors behind them.

Pintath stared nervously at the doors for a few seconds after they left.

“Did you have to let him do that to ya, chief?” asked Ninkal.

“Let's show him who's boss,” said Huluk. “Slit their throats in their sleep.”

Pintath relaxed, then stood up and stretched. “Actually, I've had enough of bossing him around for one day. I'm going to bed.”

Ninkal and Huluk looked at each other.

“Make sure none of them try to make off with any of the valuables in the castle. Good night.” Pintath strode out of the throne room, thinking to himself that Armalut needed to pick on someone his own size, considering the troll was nearly three times as tall as the average goblin.

The Southern Sea Revisited

 When I was young, I saw a PBS special on Ernest Shackelton's Antarctic voyage. From then on, I was hooked on National Geographic articles about the Antarctic, penguins, and sailing. I wrote the following poem in high school to record the feeling of the experience:

 

The Southern Sea

Our ship is tossed

on watery peaks.

The waves pound harder.

and we spring leaks.

The sails are full

of Southern air.

To slacken our watch

we do not dare.

Only the strong here

can survive.

Only the wary

remain alive.

The mighty albatross

we see.

A sign of good fortune

is he.

Where ice and seals

and penguins rule,

the Southern sea

is hard and cruel.

There is nothing in the world like an adventure across hazardous and unknown wastelands.

Here is a preview for an upcoming reenactment of the Shackleton expedition. Please note that I do not endorse the Malt Whiskey sponsor.

https://vimeo.com/48923718

And on that note, there is nothing like penguins, either.

Swarms of haute couture midgets waltz on ice

shuffling with an awkward, gamboling gait.

Angry flippers are tools of their vice,

they are short and tall, tails small, and beaks straight.

They dine on fish, shrimp, and krill far out to sea,

on ice and land they fast and wait to eat.

Their offspring wear soft down till grown they be,

They trip and slide on land, in water fleet.

Small, sophisticated, they dwell on coast,

flocking in thousands, cackling with heads high.

Haughty kings and emperors and hosts

rule remote lands beneath Antarctic sky.

A penguin’s life endures much strife and cold,

but, ah! to see those creatures brave and bold!

 

Falcon: the Story of Avrielle's Enchantment

So Avrielle's namesake asked me to post this. So for the sake of posting, I am posting a fairytale....

FALCON

Once upon a time, there was an evil witch named Mandie. She was an ugly old hag who was withdrawn, ridiculed, and grouchy. Misery loves company, and because she was so unhappy Mandie could not stand the happiness of others and wanted to ruin it. So she wove a net of shadows and hung it on a frame, and she turned the net into glass to make it into a mirror. Whenever she was in the mood to cause mischief, she would look into her mirror and say:

Looking glass, O looking glass

show me what joy has come to pass.

The mirror would show her the happiness of other people, their celebrations, their tender moments, their beauty, and their laughter. All of this happiness of others made Mandie sick, and so she would set out into the world and ruin the happiness of the people she saw in the mirror. She kidnapped their children and sold them as slaves to goblins; she caused warts and moles and wrinkles to grow on flawless skin; she burned down houses and barns; she made prized farm animals fall ill and blighted whole vegetable crops; anything that was a source of happiness to others, she ruined. And all this mischief gave her great delight. 

One day Mandie looked into her magic mirror and said:

Looking glass, O looking glass,

show me what joy has come to pass.

The mirror showed her a farmer and his beautiful daughter. The farmer's name was Peter and the daughter's name was Avrielle. Avrielle was extremely beautiful, with brown hair that she would braid flowers into and a porcelain-white face and amber eyes. Men who turned to look at her as they walked by tripped and fell, and the roses bloomed and the birds sang wherever she went. She was very kind and gentle, and she was as merry and lively as a summer's day. The sight of all her loveliness and merriment in the mirror made Mandie sick. What made it even worse was that she heard Peter boasting, “Of all the women in the world, my daughter is the Happiest One of All!” 

“Is that so?” sneered Mandie at the image in the mirror. “Well, I'll show him!” Mandie got on her broomstick and traveled to the place where Avrielle lived, and she spied on her and her father to find out how to destroy them.

It was Mandie's luck that on the day she arrived, a wild falcon swooped down and killed one of their chickens. Peter was furious. “If another falcon ever comes to my farm, I'll kill it on sight, dead chicken or no!” he vowed. Mandie laughed. Now she knew how to get rid of Avrielle.

That evening when Avrielle came out to feed the chickens, Mandie sprang on her just as she was leaving the chicken coop. “You won't be the Happiest One of all anymore if others don't love you, and certainly your father won't be so proud of you if you are a creature he hates!

Change hair for feathers,

feet for talons,

lips for a beak!”

Avrielle changed into a falcon. Mandie then ran to hide behind the chicken coop and watched as Peter came out to look for her. Seeing a falcon and not his daughter, Peter took a shovel and swung it at the falcon. Avrielle squawked in terror and flew into the forest. After Peter left, Mandie the witch had a good laugh. Then she followed Avrielle into the forest. She caught Avrielle in midair with a magic rope and held her fast.

“I'll have one more word with you, birdie,” cackled Mandie. “You are a falcon now and no longer a human. You will be hated by your father and all the other farmers in the land as a scourge who eats their chickens. The forest creatures will shun you as a predator. The other falcons will despise you because you are a stranger. You can never love or be happy again because of what you are. Try to overcome the hatred of others and you might break the spell, but up against such odds you'll never succeed. Good luck, birdie.” Mandie gave a final cackle and released Avrielle into the forest. She flew away on her broomstick, cackling and singing,

“Who's the Happiest one of all?

The one who makes the Happiest fall!”

One of the first things Avrielle figured out as a falcon was that she was still able to cry. The wind brushed the tears off her downy cheeks as she flew over the forest, but when she could not bear to fly any longer (and she was flying very clumsily), she landed on a tree branch, buried her face in her wings, and cried hard for a good long while.

The talking animals of the forest heard her crying and came to watch her cry. She told them that she was really a human under a spell and not a falcon who wanted to eat them. Some of them laughed at her. Some of them shied away from her.

“She's less of a problem as a falcon than as a human, I say,” said a fox.

“Once a human, always human,” said a weasel.

“Just don't eat the talking animals,” said a squirrel.

Avrielle had no idea how to be a proper falcon. She waddled clumsily on her talons and she flew in lopsided loops. The forest creatures were disgusted with her because she was so melancholy. Her only desire was to break the spell, but she did not know how that was going to happen because she did not know how she was supposed to be happy. 

The other falcons in the forest heard about Avrielle within days of her arrival. Two of the young male falcons, named Sidney and Farley, decided to go meet her. They gaped at her because, even as a falcon, she was still beautiful. Avrielle, however, thought she was ugly as a falcon and that the males were teasing her.

“May one of us take you for a mate?” Sidney chirped at her.

“No, back away!” Avrielle squawked, frightened. “You don't want me! I'm, a human under a spell! Don't show me any kindness.”

Sidney, Farley and their gang of falcon friends watched her, however, and soon realized that even if she was a falcon she was a very clumsy one The male falcons watched Avrielle all day and amused themselves with her folly. Avrielle's life became all the more dark from their teasing, and Mandie loved to watch her misery in her magic mirror.

One day Mandie said to her mirror,

Looking glass, O looking glass,

show me what joy has come to pass.

In the forest where Avrielle was living, the king of the land built a new summer palace. On Midsummer Eve, he held a grand ball to celebrate its completion, and lords and ladies came from all over the kingdom in their finest clothes to dance and feast.

Avrielle was living in the trees near the new palace, and she watched the king's servants preparing for the ball. She ached to go to the ball and dance with her fellow humans.

Mandie decided she would make Avrielle's life even more miserable. On the night of the ball, Avrielle was watching the courtiers' carriages pull into the drive when, out of nowhere, Mandie appeared on her broomstick.

“What do you want of me?” Avrielle asked, frightened.

“I came to see how you were doing, my sweet,” Mandie said in a honey-sweet voice. “Is there anything I can do to make your life better?” she asked.

“Well, I would like to go to the ball,” sighed Avrielle.

“Very well, then, you may go to the ball,” said Mandie. She turned Avrielle into a human with a snap of her fingers, and with another snap she was wearing a scarlet and gold ball gown. Mandie warned her, “The magic ends at midnight, so be careful to leave before then.” Avrielle thanked Mandie and then crept onto the palace grounds. She entered the ballroom from the garden door.

Everyone who saw Avrielle was soon enchanted by her beauty. She was a very graceful dancer and won the hearts of many of her dance partners. The ladies of the court were riled with envy the magnificence of her dress. All of the courtiers assumed that she was a foreign princess. Avrielle was the happiest she had been for many weeks, and she had so much fun that midnight crept on her unawares. Frightened, she tried to leave the ballroom, but the king's son and a few of his friends seized her.

“Where are you going?” asked the prince.

“Nowhere,” said Avrielle, beginning to panic.

“Why would you leave me?” asked one of his friends.

“I must,” Avrielle insisted, trying to wrench herself free.

“Don't you know I care for you?” asked another.

“You wouldn't if you knew what I was,” said Avrielle. But before she could escape, she changed back into a falcon. The ball guests gasped in horror.

“She's a witch!” shrieked one.

“She's a sprite!” said another.

“She's a demon!” screamed a lady as she fainted.

“She's cursed!” someone cried. “We're all going to be cursed!” The guests began to flee the ballroom screaming.

“Guards, seize the falcon!” shouted the king. Avrielle tried flying out of the ballroom, but the guards closed and locked all the doors. She flew to the ceiling and perched on the chandeliers. The guards put up ladders and tried to reach her. She flew around in circles trying to evade capture. Finally a guard bagged her with the gardener's butterfly net. The guard presented the captured falcon to the king. The king rewarded the guard with a thousand pieces of gold for the bird and made him a knight, and then he ordered the guard to take Avrielle to his aviary and lock her in a cage. Avrielle looked to the prince for help, but the prince—who was disappointed that Avrielle had turned out to not be human—showed her no sign of pity. 

The king's aviary was a room full of the strange and unusual birds that the king liked to collect. Some had bright-colored feathers, some sang songs in foreign languages, some were strangely shaped or looked more like beaked lizards. Avrielle was taken to a small, dirty cage in the back corner. She cried herself to sleep and slept for a good part of the day. In the evening, the bird keeper brought her a piece of meat and some water.

Avrielle lived in the aviary for several days. Sometimes the king would come with important visitors and ministers to show her to them and tell them the story of how she had seduced the best young men in the kingdom, his son included, in the guise of a woman. Sometimes the other birds would make fun of her for being so dun-colored and make up rude songs about her. Avrielle kept her face to the wall mostly, to not be seen. And from far away, Mandie said to her magic mirror,

Looking glass, O looking glass,

show me what joy has not come to pass

and she saw Avrielle weeping in her cage. Mandie laughed so hard she cried.

One day, however, Avrielle's fortune changed....

And for the sake of not spoling the end, we shall leave off here.  
But as you can tell, I am pretty excited about this story because I made sketches of the characters :)